Woody Allen Quotes to spread humour around in life

Woody Allen (born Allen Stewart Konigsberg on December 1, 1935) is an American screenwriter, director, actor, comedian, author, playwright and musician whose career spans for over fifty years. He has won the Academy Award three times, and many others in his very long career. His many works and his cerebral movie style, mixing satire and humour, have made him one of the most respected movie directors in the modern era. Allen writes and directs his movies and has also acted in most of them. To inspire himself for his movies, Allen uses literature, philosophy, psychology, Judaism, European cinema, and New York City, where he was born and has lived all life.We bring you the compilation of the best Woody Allen Quotes, hope you like it.

Quotes are powerful resource tools in areas of personal growth, life issues, business, leadership and meditation and from these quotes, you can derive inspiration, motivation and even hope from time to time. Furthermore, you can spice up your speeches, reports, presentations, blogs, or use them as thoughtful words to your friends and loved ones. We are not the author of these Woody Allen quotes but do we try as much as possible to add the author’s name to the quotes. Author’s of these quotes are poet, famous author’s, scientist, actors, philosophers, famous persons and ordinary people etc…

Woody Allen Quotes to spread humour around in life

Another good thing about being poor is that when you are seventy your children will not have you declared legally insane in order to gain control of your estate. -Woody Allen

Eighty percent of success is showing up. -Woody Allen

Is sex dirty? Only if it’s done right. -Woody Allen

Some guy hit my fender the other day, and I said unto him, “Be fruitful, and multiply.” But not in those words. -Woody Allen

I’m not afraid to die. I just don’t want to be there when it happens.-Woody Allen

I don’t want to achieve immortality through my work, I want to achieve it through not dying. -Woody Allen

I was thrown out of college for cheating on the metaphysics exam; I looked into the soul of the boy next to me. -Woody Allen

I don’t believe in God. Just try getting a plumber on the weekend. -Woody Allen

Showing up is eighty percent of life. -Woody Allen

Those modern analysts, they charge so much! In my day, for five marks Freud himself would treat you. For ten marks he would treat you and press your pants. For fifteen marks Freud would let you treat him – that included a choice of any two vegetables. -Woody Allen 

Showing up is 80 percent of life. -Woody Allen

Woody Allen Quotes to spread humour around in life

I do not believe in an afterlife, although I am bringing a change of underwear. -Woody Allen

I’m not the heroic type, really. I was beaten up by Quakers. -Woody Allen

If only God would give me a clear sign, like making a large deposit in my name at a Swiss bank. -Woody Allen

I’m at the stage of life when if a girl says no to me I’m profoundly grateful to her. -Woody Allen

I am going to give my psychoanalyst one more year, then I’m going to Lourdes. -Woody Allen

Have you been inspired by these Woody Allen quotes. If you have been enjoying our Woody Allen quotes compilation then do check out our collection of quotes from Authors similar to our Woody Allen quotes collection.

Life doesn’t imitate art, it imitates bad television. -Woody Allen

The worst that you can say about him (God) is that basically he’s an underachiever. -Woody Allen 

If I could only see one miracle, just one miracle. Like a burning bush, or the seas part, or my uncle Sasha pick up a check. -Woody Allen 

How to make God laugh. Tell him your future plans. -Woody Allen 

I’m not afraid to die. I just don’t want to be there when it happens. -Woody Allen

Woody Allen Quotes to spread humour around in life

If there is reincarnation, I’d like to come back as Warren Beatty’s fingertips. -Woody Allen

I feel about New York as a child whose father is a bank robber. Not perfect, but I still love him. -Woody Allen

I don’t want to achieve immortality through my work. I want to achieve immortality through not dying. -Woody Allen

If I had my life to live over, I wish I could be a great pianist or something. -Woody Allen

You can live to be a hundred, if you give up all the things that make you want to live to a hundred. -Woody Allen

Have you been inspired by these Woody Allen quotes. If you have been enjoying our Woody Allen quotes compilation then do check out our collection of quotes from Authors similar to our Woody Allen quotes collection.

Sex alleviates tension. Love causes it. -Woody Allen

The best thing to do is to behave in a manner befitting one’s age. If you are sixteen and under, try not to go bald. -Woody Allen 

You want to make God laugh? Tell him your future plans. -Woody Allen

Ninety percent of living is just showing up. -Woody Allen

I sold my memoirs of my love life to Parker Brothers and they are going to make a game out of it. -Woody Allen


We hope this compilation of quotes took you out of your grim and helped you to reflect on yourself. There are times in our lives when pausing, getting to know who you are on a deeper level, and evaluating yourself and your progress can really open up all kinds of creative and inspirational pathways. Keep Hustling and Follow Quotes Inferno for more such quotes. Feel free to share your favorite with your friends or in the comments below.

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