George Carlin Quotes for humorous to life

George Denis Patrick Carlin (May 12, 1937 – June 22, 2008) was an American Stand-up comedian, writer, social critic, actor, author, comedian, amateur, philosopher and satirist. Carlin was born and raised in Manhattan, New York City. He was known for his “seven dirty words” routine. The routine was about seven words people should not say in the media. (The list was ironically used by many radio stations, as a guide to what kind of language was not allowed.) Comedy Central called Carlin one of the greatest stand-up comedians. Carlin acted in movies including Jersey Girl, Dogma, Bill and Ted’s Excellent Adventure (and its sequel), Scary Movie 3, and Disney’s Tarzan 2. He also narrated the children’s television series Thomas the Tank Engine and Friends from 1984 to 1995 (Actor Alec Baldwin later took over the role in 1998), and Portrayed Mr. Conductor on Shining Time Station. Carlin had a history of heart problems. He had several heart attacks. He died of heart failure in Santa Monica, California at age 71. We bring you the compilation of the best George Carlin Quotes, hope you like it.

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George Carlin Quotes for humorous to life

I think it’s the duty of the comedian to find out where the line is drawn and cross it deliberately.— George Carlin

Weather forecast for tonight: dark.— George Carlin

If you can’t beat them, arrange to have them beaten.— George Carlin

Honesty may be the best policy, but it’s important to remember that apparently, by elimination, dishonesty is the secondbest policy.— George Carlin

There are nights when the wolves are silent and only the moon howls.— George Carlin

Hobbies cost money but interests are free.— George Carlin, — George Carlin: You Are All Diseased

If someone with multiple personalities threatens to kill himself, is it considered a hostage situation?— George Carlin

I was thinking about how people seem to read the Bible a whole lot more as they get older; then it dawned on me . . they’re cramming for their final exam.— George Carlin

Eventually, alas, I realized the main purpose of buying cocaine is to run out of it. — George Carlin, Brain Droppings

Some national parks have long waiting lists for camping reservations. When you have to wait a year to sleep next to a tree, something is wrong.— George Carlin

Life is a series of dogs.— George Carlin

Weather forcast for tonight: dark. Continued dark overnight, with widely scattered light by morning.— George Carlin

I like Florida. Everything is in the 80’s. The temperatures, the ages and the IQ’s.  (Brain Droppings, 1997)— George Carlin

Weather forecast for tonight dark.— George Carlin

Think of how stupid the average person is, and realize half of them are stupider than that.— George Carlin

Frisbeetarianism is the belief that when you die, your soul goes up on the roof and gets stuck.— George Carlin

Ever notice that anyone going slower than you is an idiot, but anyone going faster is  a maniac?— George Carlin

The IQ and the life expectancy of the average American recently passed each other going in opposite directions.  (Napalm and Silly Putty, 2001), — George Carlin

There’s no present. There’s only the immediate future and the recent past.— George Carlin

George Carlin Quotes for humorous to life

Ever wonder about those people who spend $2 apiece on those little bottles of Evian water? Try spelling Evian backward.— George Carlin

I’m not concerned about all hell breaking loose, but that a PART of hell will break loose… it’ll be much harder to detect.— George Carlin

Well, if crime fighters fight crime and fire fighters fight fire, what do freedom fighters fight? They never mention that part to us, do they?— George Carlin

Why is the man (or woman) who invests all your money called a broker?— George Carlin

No one ever says, “It’s only a game” when their team is winning.— George Carlin

“I am” is reportedly the shortest sentence in the English language. Could it be that “I do” is the longest sentence?— George Carlin

What’s all this stuff about motivation? I say, if you need motivation, you probably need more than motivation. You probably need chemical intervention or brain surgery. Actually, if you ask me, this country could do with a little less motivation. The people who are causing all the trouble seem highly motivated to me.— George Carlin

The very existence of flamethrowers proves that some time, somewhere, someone said to themselves, “You know, I want to set those people over there on fire, but I’m just not close enough to get the job done.”— George Carlin

If a pig loses its voice, is it disgruntled?— George Carlin

Keep thy religion to thyself.— George Carlin

Have you been inspired by these George Carlin quotes. If you have been enjoying our George Carlin quotes compilation then do check out our collection of quotes from Authors similar to our George Carlin quotes collection.

You have to be realistic about terrorism. Certain groups of people, certain groups, Muslim fundamentalists, Christian fundamentalists, Jewish fundamentalists, and just plain guys from Montanta, are going to continue to make life in this country very interesting for a long, long time.— George Carlin, You Are All Diseased

The day after tomorrow is the third day of the rest of your life.  (Sometimes a Little Brain Damage Can Help, 1984)— George Carlin

Well, if crime fighters fight crime and fire fighters fight fire, what do freedom fighters fight They never mention that part to us, do they— George Carlin

I’m completely in favor of the separation of Church and State. My idea is that these two institutions screw us up enough on their own, so both of them together is certain death.— George Carlin

If a man smiles all the time he’s probably selling something that doesn’t work.  (Brain Droppings, 1997), — George Carlin

Atheism is a nonprophet organization.— George Carlin

When someone asks you, A penny for your thoughts, and you put your two cents in, what happens to the other penny?— George Carlin

The IQ and the life expectancy of the average American recently passed each other going in opposite directions.— George Carlin, Napalm and Silly Putty

I thought about how mothers feed their babies with tiny little spoons and forks so I wondered, what do Chinese mothers use? Toothpicks?— George Carlin

What does it mean to preboard? Do you get on before you get on?— George Carlin

We hope this compilation of quotes took you out of your grim and helped you to reflect on yourself. There are times in our lives when pausing, getting to know who you are on a deeper level, and evaluating yourself and your progress can really open up all kinds of creative and inspirational pathways. Keep Hustling and Follow Quotes Inferno for more such quotes. Feel free to share your favorite with your friends or in the comments below.

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