Erma Bombeck Quotes to add humour to your life

Erma Louise Bombeck (February 21, 1927 – April 22, 1996) was an American humorist who achieved great popularity for her syndicated newspaper humor column describing suburban home life from 1965 to 1996. She also published 15 books, most of which became bestsellers. Between 1965 and April 17, 1996 – five days before her death – Bombeck wrote over 4,000 newspaper columns, using broad and sometimes eloquent humor, chronicling the ordinary life of a midwestern suburban housewife. By the 1970s, her columns were read semi-weekly by 30 million readers of the 900 newspapers in the U.S. and Canada. Bombeck was diagnosed with polycystic kidney disease (an incurable, untreatable genetic disease) when she was 20 years old. She survived breast cancer and mastectomy, and kept secret the fact that she had kidney disease, enduring daily dialysis. She went public with her condition in 1993. On a waiting list for transplant for years, one kidney had to be removed, and the remaining one ceased to function. On April 3, 1996, she received a kidney transplant. She died on April 22, 1996, aged 69, from complications of the operation.  Her remains are interred in the Woodland Cemetery, Dayton, Ohio, under a large rock from the Phoenix desert. We bring you the compilation of the best Erma Bombeck Quotes, hope you like it.

Quotes are powerful resource tools in areas of personal growth, life issues, business, leadership and meditation and from these quotes, you can derive inspiration, motivation and even hope from time to time. Furthermore, you can spice up your speeches, reports, presentations, blogs, or use them as thoughtful words to your friends and loved ones. We are not the author of these Erma Bombeck quotes but do we try as much as possible to add the author’s name to the quotes. Author’s of these quotes are poet, famous author’s, scientist, actors, philosophers, famous persons and ordinary people etc…

Erma Bombeck Quotes to add humour to your life

I told you I was sick. — Erma Bombeck, on her tombstone

I am not a glutton-I am an explorer of food. -Erma Bombeck

There are people who put their dreams in a little box and say, ‘Yes, I’ve got dreams, of course I’ve got dreams.’ Then they put the box away and bring it out once in  awhile to look in it, and yep, they’re still there. These are great dreams, but they never even get out of the box. It takes an uncommon amount of guts to put your dreams on the line, to hold them up and say, ‘How good or how bad am I’ That’s where courage comes in. — Erma Bombeck

One certainty when you travel is the moment you arrive in a foreign country, the American dollar will fall like a stone. -Erma Bombeck

My mother phones daily to ask, “Did you just try to reach me?” When I reply no, she adds, “So, if you’re not too busy, call me while I’m still alive,” . . . and hangs up. -Erma Bombeck

I come from a family where gravy is considered a beverage. — Erma Bombeck

The family. We are a strange little band of characters trudging through life sharing diseases and toothpaste, coveting one another’s desserts, hiding shampoo, locking each other out of our rooms, inflicting pain and kissing to heal it in the same instant, loving, laughing, defending, and trying to figure out the common thread that bound us all together. -Erma Bombeck

Never go to a doctor whose office plants have died. — Erma Bombeck

But some emotions don’t make a lot of noise. It’s hard to hear pride. Caring is real faint like a heartbeat. And pure love why, some days it’s so quiet, you don’t even know it’s there. -Erma Bombeck

Never lend your car to anyone to whom you have given birth. — Erma Bombeck

Erma Bombeck Quotes to add humour to your life

When humor goes, there goes civilization. — Erma Bombeck

One thing they never tell you about child raising is that for the rest of your life, at      the drop of a hat, you are expected to know your child’s name and how old he or she is. — Erma Bombeck

I am not a glutton  I am an explorer of food. — Erma Bombeck

It goes without saying that you should never have more children than you have car windows. -Erma Bombeck

You hear a lot of dialogue on the death of the American family. Families aren’t dying. They’re merging into big conglomerates. -Erma Bombeck

Have you been inspired by these Erma Bombeck quotes. If you have been enjoying our Erma Bombeck quotes compilation then do check out our collection of quotes from Authors similar to our Erma Bombeck quotes collection.

… it’s simply wrong to always order kids to stop that fighting. There are times when one child is simply defending his rights and damned well should be fighting. — Erma Bombeck

When I stand before God at the end of my life, I would hope that I would not have a single bit of talent left, and could say, “I used everything you gave me.” -Erma Bombeck

Family life got better and we got our car back as soon as we put “I love Mom” on the license plate. -Erma Bombeck

It takes a lot of courage to show your dreams to someone else. -Erma Bombeck

I’ve been on a constant diet for the last two decades. I’ve lost a total of 789 pounds. By all accounts, I should be hanging from a charm bracelet. -Erma Bombeck

Erma Bombeck Quotes to add humour to your life

Never lend your car to someone you’ve given birth to. -Erma Bombeck

Anybody who watches three games of football in a row should be declared brain dead. — Erma Bombeck

It is fast approaching the point where I don’t want to elect anyone stupid enough to want the job. (on the US presidency) — Erma Bombeck

If a man watches three football games in a row he should be declared legally dead. — Erma Bombeck

In two decades I’ve lost a total of 789 pounds. I should be hanging from a charm bracelet. — Erma Bombeck

A friend never defends a husband who gets his wife an electric skillet for her birthday. — Erma Bombeck

I do not participate in any sport with ambulances at the bottom of a hill. — Erma Bombeck

Great dreams… never even get out of the box. It takes an uncommon amount of    guts to put your dreams on the line, to hold them up and say, “How good or how bad am I?” That’s where courage comes in. — Erma Bombeck

We’ve got a generation now who were born with semiequality. They don’t know how   it was before, so they think, this isn’t too bad. We’re working. We have our attache’ cases and our three piece suits. I get very disgusted with the younger generation of women. We had a torch to pass, and they are just sitting there. They don’t realize it can be taken away. Things are going to have to get worse before they join in fighting the battle. — Erma Bombeck

Parenting is a negative thing. Keep your children from killing themselves, or anyone else, and hope for the best. — Erma Bombeck

Erma Bombeck Quotes to add humour to your life

The art of never making a mistake is crucial to motherhood. To be effective and to gain the respect she needs to function, a other must have her children believe she  has never engaged in sex, never made a bad decision, never caused her own mother  a moment’s anxiety, and was never a child. — Erma Bombeck

There are people who put their dreams in a little box and say, “Yes, I’ve got dreams, of course, I’ve got dreams.” Then they put the box away and bring it out once in a while to look in it, and yep, they’re still there. These are great dreams, but they never even get out of the box. It takes an uncommon amount of guts to put your dreams on the line, to hold them up and say, “How good or how bad am I?” That’s where courage comes in. -Erma Bombeck

I read one psychologist’s theory that said, “Never strike a child in your anger.” When could I strike him? When he is kissing me on my birthday? When he’s recuperating from measles? Do I slap the Bible out of his hand on Sunday? -Erma Bombeck

A child develops individuality long before he develops taste. I have seen my kid struggle into the kitchen in the morning with outfits that need only one accessory: an empty gin bottle. — Erma Bombeck

Have you been inspired by these Erma Bombeck quotes. If you have been enjoying our Erma Bombeck quotes compilation then do check out our collection of quotes from Authors similar to our Erma Bombeck quotes collection.

There’s nothing sadder in this world than to awake Christmas morning and not be a child. — Erma Bombeck

My second favorite household chore is ironing. My first being hitting my head on the top bunk bed until I faint. — Erma Bombeck

What’s with you men? Would hair stop growing on your chest if you asked directions somewhere? -Erma Bombeck

People are always asking couples whose marriage has endured at least a quarter of a century for their secret for success. Actually, it is no secret at all. I am a forgiving woman. Long ago, I forgave my husband for not being Paul Newman. — Erma Bombeck

Thanksgiving dinners take eighteen hours to prepare. They are consumed in twelve minutes. Halftimes take twelve minutes. This is not coincidence. — Erma Bombeck


We hope this compilation of quotes took you out of your grim and helped you to reflect on yourself. There are times in our lives when pausing, getting to know who you are on a deeper level, and evaluating yourself and your progress can really open up all kinds of creative and inspirational pathways. Keep Hustling and Follow Quotes Inferno for more such quotes. Feel free to share your favorite with your friends or in the comments below.

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